Life is Darkness - Sketchbook Volume 1

Life is Darkness - Sketchbook Volume 1 is here! It features some of my sketchbook work from April 2011 to April 2012.

It's available at TCAF. I only made 12 of these. Hopefully, I sell them? :D I could only make so little because it's all hand bound. Full colours!

The inside of made of accordion fold, one loooooooong page when you expand it (I think about 10.5 feet, I haven't measured it). Take a look at some of the pages:

I think I really like furry snakes.

"Why so ugly gray?" You might ask. It's because I made it look like one of my favourite sketchbooks. I love utilitarian thick empty gray cardboards my sketchbook has. I first saw this kind of binding from ReadyMade books. And I'm still in love with such binding. It's fun to draw on the cover.

I also often cover my sketchbook with stickers. The zine suppose to look like my sketchbook. Thanks Selena for the idea! And also J. W. Cotter's Driven by Lemons.

The table is almost set up. See you tomorrow at TCAF! xoxo

❤ TCAF 2012 ❤

 The photo shows my sketchbook work from April 2011 to April 2012 (chronological order).

For TCAF 2012, I am releasing Volume 1 of this year's sketchbook work. I'd like to post the photo of the zine, but to my shame, it's still at the printers. I will update as soon as I get them.

Sketchbook stickers while watching Quiet Earth. It's a post-apocalyptic (sort of. How can I say definitively if the apocalypse is on-going?) story about everyone dead except three people on earth. Very engaging film, but try not to watch alone. 

And finally... My brother is releasing Cat 3! It features a fat cat eating stuff. I guarantee cuteness. 

Here is the TCAF plan! I am at the backroom on the first floor, table 165, where Hand-eye society and Kid Koala are. I am sitting beside my friends Ben and facing Ian.
If you happen to walk by, please come and say hello.

Info on the event:
TCAF @ Toronto Reference Library
789 Yonge. St, north of Yonge TTC
Saturday May 5th, 9am-5pm
Sunday May 6th, 11am-5pm
Free to attend

This is very shameful to admit. But for the past FOUR DAYS, I've been playing Solaris on loop, everyday, while robotically scanning and re-touching images. It is one of those perfect movies with my favourite theme of memory and letting go. It is a sad movie though (although parts of it makes me smile), that many repeats took me to some dark places in my head. As I am about to do some printing now, I want to play it again. Before I saw this movie, my friend told me it's exactly a kind of movie I'd like. Now I'm so hopelessly addicted. It's surreal to go outside after being stuck in a room with Solaris music & dialogues playing in the background for so long. It's going to be 23 degrees today, I better get the fuck out.

Lastly, some silly oopik drawings from last night.

To Come Home

I watched Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives just before leaving for Berlin. It's about a guy who's son became a bigfoot. I cannot stop drawing these guys after watching that movie. If you can be reborn as a bigfoot, then you've lived a life worthwhile, I think.

My friend Nicolas showed me his friend's studio. His friend had a climbing wall built inside of the studio, it was so surreal. Inside of this home-made climbing wall, all the drill holes let the sunlight through, looking like stars. As you can see, I cannot spell "stars."

Above images are some sketchbook drawings I've done during my Berlin trip last week. I just got over jet lagging yesterday. You get a twinge when jet lag disappears. The warm ray of trip has dissipated and the time is passing. This is my second trip to Berlin and it again showed me the time of my life. The first Berlin trip last year taught me to be more open and giving. I don't know what I've learned this year yet. I've been too busy to sit and think. I won't have chance at least til next week.

Berlin is different from other places I've been, because it's so inviting. I was rarely left alone and I felt so comfortable there. It's a magical city where people opened up everywhere I went. A city where tasty vegan icecream's readily available... I want to live there! But then if I actually live there, things would be different. My friends told me that it's even more isolating than Toronto. Berlin and Toronto, my favourite two cities. I'm grateful for every minute I spend in both cities.

I was there for Pictoplasma festival/conference. It's been a dream to be in the Pictoplasma book. I also got to be in an exhibition and gave a presentation. Lars and Peter (Pictoplasma organizers) had been overly kind to me.  I'm so grateful for the opportunity. I met so many friends, whom I connected right away.

This year's Pictoplasma: Character Compendium. I'm on page 72! You can purchase it here.

Here are some highlights from the Berlin trip, boring home-vacation-slides-style (nobody reads my blog, so I can put whatever I want):

Inside of Spree/Treptower Park, there is a beautiful abandoned amusement park. We snuck in to take photos.

Street "art" made out of chewed gum.

No black donkeys allowed in that park.

One of my absolute favourite talks at Pictoplasma by an illustrator Ben Newman. Always loved his work, but his presentation was something else. He started by playing Van Halen on his cellphone for an awkward 2 minutes. Then extremely inspiring presentation ensued. He was very professional yet funny at the same time. I don't know how he pulled that off.

Vegan brunch with my dear friend Sara at Kopps restaurant. I visited that restaurant 4 times during my stay. Excessive? Yes.

My friend took me to a park with a giant metal slide. I wanted to ride it, but it was too cold.

Neurotitan Gallery/Store with friends. This photo features my favourite illustrator, Aaron Leighton.

Stairwell of Neurotitan gallery.

Lucky Leek restaurant. It was higher price range, but definitely worth it. I've never had such a tasty fancy vegan meal. I wish I ate a dessert there.

At a Soviet monument.

One of Chi Sing's lunch set menu. Happiness costs 8 euros. I bumped into this restaurant by a mistake. I took a wrong direction from a friend. But a happy accident nonetheless. They'd make anything vegan for the customers.

Tried spray painting for the first time with a help of one of my favourite artists, LowBros. LowBros were very kind and patient with me. I want to do more! 

Oh, it was extremely cold. If you are going to Berlin in April, please pack a winter coat. Hand warmers I brought saved my life, but I didn't bring enough. 

Drawing done in airplane. Someone told me that the proximity determines emotional distance between people. But I don't think a day went by without me thinking about my friends and loved ones. Even though I love Berlin, by the end of the trip, I was ready to come home. By being away, I was again reminded of how everyone and everything around me is important to me. I felt guilty not having time for people in the name of making a living. While abroad, I missed familiar faces, and the comfort of my city. I love that I completely blend-in in Toronto. When the plane landed on Toronto Pearson airport, I wanted to kiss the ground (and murmured, "God bless the Queen!"). 


I think that's the reason why people travel: to come home. 


And lastly, a video of my Pictoplasma presentation. Thanks Steve for kindly filming!

30 minutes is a long commitment to watch some internet video, but hopefully, my dear friend Benjamin Rivers' review would convince you to sit through it:

"Oh my god, you are such an artist hipster. I don't think we can be friends anymore"

Pictoplasma 2012

I am showing and speaking at Pictoplasma 2012! Thank you Peter and Lars!
My favourite Toronto artists Aaron Leighton and Nathan Jurevicius are also presenting.
It's a dream come true, I'm about to throw up from the excitement. It's been a year since I attended the conference. Since then, I picked up German language CDs and books to teach myself. Time just flew by, and all I can say is "Ich möchte einen tee mit soza milsch, bitte." (I'd like a tea with soymilk, please) That and "a cat is under the table"
I expect to drink a lot of tea in Germany. Perhaps with a cat under the table.
Next year, I swear, I'll keep up with the studies, so I can say more than that.

In a few days, I will be leaving for Berlin. I am so not ready, in a bit of panic. My perpetual indecision make things extra hard. I went out twice yesterday and today to look for a carry-on bag (Time I could not afford!). I just could not decide. I think I won't get a new bag after all. Last year, it took me 2 hours to get a travelling towel. God help me.

My friends in Berlin, I will be speaking on Thursday, April 12th at 8pm at .HBC.
Here is the schedule: http://berlin.pictoplasma.com/conference/schedule
I am not sure about the exhibition detail yet. I will update as soon as possible.

Oh I am bringing my giant monster head. I want to wear it at the beginning of the presentation. I hope I give a good presentation, wish me luck!

Bottle Picking

Another bottle post! I picked up artist copies and some extras from Alexx today. I was so proud and happy with them, I almost cried at the coffee shop, like a crazy woman. It is something very special to see your art work on objects. Especially, Alexx' cute bottles. He worked so hard on getting the blue colour right, I was very honoured to collaborate with him. He's very inspiring and hard working.

The black/yellow one on Alexx' right hand is one and only copy for me! He tried on black/yellow colours. I LOVED that one too. But after brief polls among friends, went with the original blue/yellow. I'm so happy to own both.

You can order these bottles at Alexx' Etsy.
Check out his beautiful ceramics on Alexx' Site.
And the latest news on his Blog.

Windy Night

A video I made this evening to avoid real work. I rather play!
I watched a time management lecture today, and I'm not putting it into use yet. After I come back from Germany next month, I will sort my life, for realz!

See how one iris is off to the right? That's how my eyes actually are. And no, it has nothing to do with laser eye surgery.

This is made with a photograph of my past exhibition, this one:

The hair shadow is me. Yes. I wish I had an exact video of this, so the cloud moves around. Importance of good documentation, learned in the hard way.

♥ Bottles with Alexx ♥

You can purchase these bottles here: RCBoisjoli Etsy
Only 100 are made. Very limited edition, so get yours fast!

I have collaborated with a wonderful Toronto based ceramic artist, Alexx Boisjoli. He is one of a kind, a very few artist in Toronto who works with decals. His works are minimal, well designed and strive for perfection. Check out his glow-in-the-dark bone china Jack-o-Lantern clocks. They are so awesome!

Because an idiot like me use finicky blue glaze in the work, Alexx had a hard time making these. I feel so bad. Had I known, I would've went for a different colour. I'm grateful for his patience.
All the photos above are taken by Alexx.

Here are the drawings I sent him for this project.

And the second image that didn't get picked (Snails, yo!):

Faking It

Because of my favourite artist, Sean Martindale's kind invitation, I got to be a part of his GSGS show at Art Gallery of Ontario gift shop. Remember those fine art prints you can purchase in art museums? It's like those, but Sean wanted the image is of the museum shop itself instead of a famous fine art. So here, ladies and gentlemen, I present you the empty display case of AGO gift shop. I dedicate this painting to Sean.

I originally sketched bunch of monsters twirling around the display case, but decided against it at the last minute. I could not work out the composition, and thought staying minimal worked better. Here are some details:

And my posters, boxes, cards and opera glasses at AGO gift shop display:

The show runs from January till April 1st. The hours are:

Tuesday 11:30am – 6pm
Wednesday 11:30am – 9pm
Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday 11:30am – 6pm
Monday closed

Here are some images of my items for sale at AGO gift shop. Most are sold except few, I'm quite happy about that. Check them out at AGO gift shop before the show ends!

I have a confession to make: I have a very low self-esteem when it comes to my work, it's a constant battle. A lot of good things had been happening in my life but I had a bit of a dip a week ago. I was sinking in self-doubt for a couple of weeks. I felt like I do not deserve any of good things in life for I truly believe my work isn't good enough. I worried people would wonder, "why does she get xyz, she sucks!" I feel like such a fake sometimes, and I'm worried that you'd see through my fakeness. I'm worried that when that time comes, everything will crash down.

But illustration is commercial art, and I have to sell my work. I can't sell it properly if I don't believe in the product! Nobody will believe in me if I don't believe in myself. It's embarrassing for me everytime I post my work online and show to people. I envy people who have natural confidence. I tell myself that being unhappy with my work gives me a room to grow. And I'd like to think that many artists feel the same way about themselves. Whether these are true or not, I'm not sure.

While I rolling around, worrying about futile things, I got to see this documentary, 'Jiro Dreams of Sushi' at TIFF Lightbox last weekend. It was about a sushi master, Jiro. Although he's been making sushi all his life, he doesn't think he's sushi is perfect. He always thinks about improving sushi with passion. While watching hypnotic monotony of his graceful sushi making, I started to feel much better. I came out of the theatre, calm and content. Just keep working hard, and everything will be alright. Whatever happens, there is no point on worrying about things I have no control of.